molallaboy: nothing is fresher then water being shot up your butt

Damn that Whitaker guy not fixing LJ. LJ is down right now and he's probably surfing for midget porn or something. I know that guy, I know how he works.

(17:37:39) ScottAIM: the site is still down
(17:37:42) ScottAIM: fix it
(17:37:45) bradwhit2: dude
(17:37:45) ScottAIM: WHITAKER
(17:37:46) ScottAIM: DO IT!
(17:37:47) bradwhit2: 100+ machines
(17:37:53) bradwhit2: gotta bring em all up
(17:37:55) ScottAIM: DON'T GIVE ME YOUR EXCUSES!
(17:37:58) ScottAIM: grok grok perl
(17:38:01) ScottAIM: LIVEJOURNAL = FIXED
(17:38:02) ScottAIM: DO IT!
(17:38:03) ScottAIM: HOMO!
(17:38:15) ScottAIM: You're just captain excuses... This is you
(17:38:21) ScottAIM: <whine>I can't make LJ work</whine>
(17:40:02) ScottAIM: :)
(17:40:39) ScottAIM: DON'T IGNORE ME MISTER!
(17:40:47) bradwhit2: ass

I got tired of listening to his excuses so I wrote some code to help motivate him to get off his ass and fix LJ :)

if ($whitaker ne "lazy") {
	$whitaker = Perl::Coder->new();
	
	while ($livejournal_percent_complete < 100) {
		$whitaker->grok_some_code("Your Mom");
		$whitaker->scratch_ass(1);
		
		$whitaker_take_break("J.O.","Sea Doo");
		
		$livejournal_percent_complete += 10;
	}
	
	return 1;
} else {
	&google_search("Bea Arthur Naked");
	
	$whitaker = Lazy::Coder->new();
	while($i < 20) {
		$whitaker->jack_off();
	}

	return 0;
}