Damn that Whitaker guy not fixing LJ. LJ is down right now and he's probably surfing for midget porn or something. I know that guy, I know how he works.

(17:37:39) ScottAIM: the site is still down
(17:37:42) ScottAIM: fix it
(17:37:45) bradwhit2: dude
(17:37:45) ScottAIM: WHITAKER
(17:37:46) ScottAIM: DO IT!
(17:37:47) bradwhit2: 100+ machines
(17:37:53) bradwhit2: gotta bring em all up
(17:37:55) ScottAIM: DON'T GIVE ME YOUR EXCUSES!
(17:37:58) ScottAIM: grok grok perl
(17:38:01) ScottAIM: LIVEJOURNAL = FIXED
(17:38:02) ScottAIM: DO IT!
(17:38:03) ScottAIM: HOMO!
(17:38:15) ScottAIM: You're just captain excuses... This is you
(17:38:21) ScottAIM: <whine>I can't make LJ work</whine>
(17:40:02) ScottAIM: :)
(17:40:39) ScottAIM: DON'T IGNORE ME MISTER!
(17:40:47) bradwhit2: ass

I got tired of listening to his excuses so I wrote some code to help motivate him to get off his ass and fix LJ :)

if ($whitaker ne "lazy") {
	$whitaker = Perl::Coder->new();
	
	while ($livejournal_percent_complete < 100) {
		$whitaker->grok_some_code("Your Mom");
		$whitaker->scratch_ass(1);
		
		$whitaker_take_break("J.O.","Sea Doo");
		
		$livejournal_percent_complete += 10;
	}
	
	return 1;
} else {
	&google_search("Bea Arthur Naked");
	
	$whitaker = Lazy::Coder->new();
	while($i < 20) {
		$whitaker->jack_off();
	}

	return 0;
}