So I download an install IE and reboot and check Windows Update one last time and lo and behold there are six (6!!!) more updates. I'm thinking, I know I just checked this damn thing and there were NONE left. Then Jared points out that I just installed IE and thus all those patches were for IE. I check it and sure enough he's right!
So Microsoft doesn't even include the latest patch when you download IE. You have to install IE and then install the patches. Two separate Windows Update sessions and two reboots. Very lame!