Scott Francis Baker (muerte) wrote,
Scott Francis Baker
muerte

Doctors say surfing the net late at night is bad for sperm

I'm one step closer to convincing the city of Canby that I'm a Redneck. I just took a trip to Freddies real quick to get two things: a pitchfork, and the cheapest beer they had. I needed cheap beer for a lawn food concoction that I'm mixing up. And in case you're wondering there was a tie for the cheapest beer: PBR, and Hamms. I went with Hamms because I know it probably has less of a chance of getting drank by one of my friends.

Walking around Freddies carrying a six pack of 16 oz Hamms and a pitchfork gets you some pretty weird looks. I even had one guy mention to his wife, "never mess with a man buying a pitchfork." Sweet!

The concotion for my lawn:

1 cup dish soap
1 can cheap beer
1 can sugary pop/soda
1 or 2 cups amonia
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