You're gunna laugh your ass off at this one:
My newest girlfriend Tammy dumped me for looking at online porn. Not only that, but she accidentally walked in on me while I was "looking" at it. (http://www.some-lame-pornsite.com/ if you are curious).
Here's the best part, HER MOM WAS WITH HER!!!!!!
Man, It was TOTALLY HUMILIATING! I had a fist fulla hand cream, pants down to my ankles, this awesome movie of 2 Japanese girls impaling each other with HUGE dildos, the full deal.
Her mom screamed, Tammy started yelling at me (she was so pissed!), and all I could do was laugh. She broke up with me that night and called me a disgusting perv (she was lame anyway).
So now I say, " Fuck settling down, fuck lame-ass girls, FREE P0RN is the way to go!"