April 5th, 2003


Subject: My goat has broken my hymen

Tonight some people are coming over to hang out. Jason decided that we should do a little drinking, to which I took .00003 seconds to agree with him. So I figure we'll drink, vent, drink some more and pass out. My mom warned me to puke in the toilet and not in the bathtub because it's easier to clean! My mom's cool.

Also yesterday was Phyllis' funeral. I didn't want to go but I went anyway. I suppose it was good to see my family, my grandfather seemed to be in good spirits. My mom did some of the readings at the funeral which is ironic considering how much Phyllis didn't like her. That and one of Phyllis' sons called my grandfather his "step-dad." So basically it was a normal funeral, "my mom was so great," "she loved life," "she was so full of joy." I swear we were at the wrong funeral, because the woman I knew was angry, spitelful, and bitter.

I feel guilty because I don't feel bad that she's gone. Some weird part of me is glad she's gone, but I shouldn't feel that way. Odd. I'm sorry she was just a very angry woman and I don't think I'll miss her. I am worried about my grandfather though, this could be very hard on him. I can't imagine burying two wives.