October 8th, 2001


Ok people for my next miracle I'm going to turn water into funk!

Hahahaha... spam is starting to get interesting

You're gunna laugh your ass off at this one:

My newest girlfriend Tammy dumped me for looking at online porn. Not only that, but she accidentally walked in on me while I was "looking" at it. (http://www.some-lame-pornsite.com/ if you are curious).

Here's the best part, HER MOM WAS WITH HER!!!!!!

Man, It was TOTALLY HUMILIATING! I had a fist fulla hand cream, pants down to my ankles, this awesome movie of 2 Japanese girls impaling each other with HUGE dildos, the full deal.

Her mom screamed, Tammy started yelling at me (she was so pissed!), and all I could do was laugh. She broke up with me that night and called me a disgusting perv (she was lame anyway).

So now I say, " Fuck settling down, fuck lame-ass girls, FREE P0RN is the way to go!"

It's not how you pick your nose it's where you put the booger

So Derek and I go out to lunch today. We had some time to kill after eating so we wandered over to Fred Meyer's just to kill some time. Well I remember that I need some shampoo, so I go and pick it up while we're there. So I run through the checkout and buy my Head & Shoulder for $3.99. So the lady hands me my recipe and I realize that it's one of those receipts printed on coupon paper.

So on the back is 4 coupons for various items. What a coincidence one of them happened to be for $1.50 off any Head and Shoulders product!!! What the hell! I contemplated just returning the one I had, picking up another bottle and going through a different line.