May 21st, 2001

MrButtlertronPimp

I was quit when I come in here... I'm twice as quit now.

* A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.

* When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

* The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."

* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

* When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

* If he or she says that you are too good for him -- believe it.

* I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

* Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

* If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

* Living well really is the best revenge.

* Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.

* Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.

* And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

-- author unknown
MrButtlertronPimp

Holy screeching trains batman

So I'm driving back from school and I see a train on the tracks to the right of me. No big deal there are trains all the time. So I notice this train is driving a little slow, again no big deal. I pull up near the train and I realize the whole under side of the train is orange. I look a little closer and I see that there are massive amounts of sparks flying off the wheels and tracks. Then I realized there was a pretty hefty cloud of smoke around the train I hadn't noticed before.

Pretty odd! The train must have been forced to slam on its brakes for some reason. I thought the thing was on fire seeing all the orange color underneath it. Kinda cool!
MrButtlertronPimp

I sense a firebomb coming on...

I just got email from my old roomate saying he got our deposit back from the apartment. Those stupid mother-fuckers at my old apartment complex charged us $240 of out $250 for "cleaning/damages."

That is complete and total bullshit! You should have seen that place, it was immaculate. I'm gonna right over there with a flaming stick and shove it straight up their fucking asses! ARGH!