April 26th, 2001


On hold

So I'm one hold with one of our vendors and they have the annoying hold music going. It wouldn't be so bad, but every 30 seconds (I timed it), the come on the line to thank me for continuing to hold blah blah blah. Every 30 seconds! Good lord, at least let me listen to the crappy music, it's easier to tune out.


Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.


Amazon is a bunch of whores... Every page you go to has more advertisements for stuff they suggest you buy. "I see you bought tampons, perhaps you would like a set of encyclopedias!"

Even the email they send you confirming your order has more suggestions for what you should buy. Terrible!


Tomorrow is a half day for me. I had originally taken half the day off anyway to come home and pack, but now I have a funeral to attend. So I'm going to the funeral and then coming back here to pack. My mom wanted to come over and help, so I wasn't going to argue. I always work better when I'm working with someone else, I'm more motivated.