March 7th, 2001


I'll take sounds for $400

"What is the sound my phone is not making Alex"

Grrrrrrrrr... Cisco told me they'd call me back in a half an hour. That was about and hour ago. And it should be a simple problem. Oh well, until they call back I'll catch up on my email and make sure things are running smoothly around here.


Chuck reminded me of this:

"So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, 'once more into the breech dear friends.' But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms 'visiting hours' don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief." - Sean Maguire


Dave drove over my leg with his damn car. I was getting out and he started to go and hit my damn leg! Well really it just rubbed up against my leg really hard and left a black mark on my pants. He told me he'd buy me a new pair of pants.

Making me mad

I'm tired of putting up with the things that make me mad. So I'm not going to. If something makes me mad, I'm not just going to brush it off anymore.


So Eric bought another video game today. I always give him crap because he buys like 10,000 games and never finishes any of them. He has about 15 different games going at any one time. So when I gave him crap about this one he read the following quote to me:

"The buying of more books than one can read is nothing less than the soul reaching toward infinity..." - A. Edward Newton

And said 'replace books with video games," somehow I don't think Mr. Newton had that in mind when he wrote it. Video games are a far cry from a good piece of literature. I do really like the quote however, it reminds me exactly why I buy so many books, many of which I will never read. It's because they are a window to something that I wish I could become.


It's really amazing how driving home in this nice weather we've been having lately makes me feel. It really puts me in a good mood, I need to get outside more. Working during the day sucks!


I'm about ready to go to bed when I realized it's really warm in here. I don't know why, it wasn't that hot today. I opened my window up, hopefully it will cool down before I actually get into bed.